comfort for change

Sorry for the delayed update.

Katie HD, I'm currently listening to “I'ma flirt.” Thought I should tell you. I do miss listening to music... and I haven't the confidence yet to join in on local musical circles and things (I'm just saying that... I have discovered as of yet, very little music in Zanzibar).

I have only been here for about a week and a half but it feels as though I've been here for at least a month. Our days are so full. We spent orientation in Paje (a small village on the other side of the island). We stayed in the most beautiful motel-like, resort-like place. The food there was fantastic and now that we're all back in Stone-Town, I can reflect back and know that was a secluded world... and the world a tourist and not student might see. Now being in my first home-stay, I realize that Paje wasn't the real world. There we talked a lot about logistics, had 4 hours of kiswahili a day and a few assignments that involved going into the village and going to the butterfly center/swimming with wild dolphins. After class we would go swimming in the ocean and we would until the very last minute (there it was was clean/safe enough... it's not in Stone-Town). Everything in Paje was comfortable. Now I am living with a family in Stone-Town, am still doing kiswahili lessons and have started IMS lectures and guest speakers. It is nice to be learning about ecology and the coral reefs now... SCIENCE. It is feeling more like school and I'm noticing time is going faster. My home-stay family is fantastic. I have a mom, two sisters and two brothers. They are all wonderful and extremely hospitable to me. It is a completely different perspective from the beginning of the trip- new food, new house, new family, new rules. I am still able to run most mornings. I am at my home-stay before going to kiswahili at 8am and come home after at 5pm. My first day at my home-stay was challenging, mostly because I felt slightly invasive and very distant. It was a hard day also because it made me miss my real home family. I showed them family pictures and drew them a map of the states so they could understand where I was. The kids love the slinky I brought them. They are so helpful and willing with my goal to improve my kiswahili.

Every bathroom I experience is an eventful one. Most bathrooms are holes. Luckily, my family has a toilet and I really appreciate it. The littlest one likes to teach me how to count in many other languages.

I'm finally starting to understand how to get around stone-Town... it's hard. No alleys are straight and you can never get a view to see where to go because you're surrounded by buildings – that is unless you can find the ocean... the beautiful ocean.

The other day we were all walking down to our IMS lecture and smelled the salt sea that was splashing against the wall. I instantly placed myself on the coast of Maine. It was a satisfying feeling but largely, I think, because I felt as though I could miss home in a healthy way. I missed New England but I didn't want to leave. Mostly thanks to everyone in my group being so fantastic. We get a long so well and are all transitioning to the culture in similar ways. I love how open minded everyone is.

Speaking of transitions: When I first got here, the locals were exciting. They would shout Jambo and invite, invite, invite us into their shops. It was all so stimulating. But after being here for a more extended time, I have had different feelings about it and my emotions have been responding more negatively. There was a 4-5 day period where my confidence walking through the streets did not improve but I could better understand the ways that locals were responding to me/us. That period of time made me feel foreign, angry, inferior, awkward, privileged, different and, in general, not good. I was mad that I was feeling that way but the United States is a bubble. I haven't figured out yet whether our approach to racial diversity is healthy or not. Racism is not tolerated. But I live in a world where nearly ever race can be seen. Here, I am so obvious. I just walk out my door and I'm OBVIOUS. Everyone that lives in Zanzibar is a Zanzibarian. Those from the mainland are even considered foreigners. We all frequently get called “mzungu”or (loosely translated to white -person. However, it comes from the kiswahili word meaning dizzy and THAT comes from being a westerner and traveling all over the world. I didn't really like walking around those days. I still feel parts of that. However, my confidence has changed, mostly through familiarity. I feel as though I know where I'm going and basic ways to avoid danger, etc. I am walking the streets creates a bit less anxiety. Now, as a group, we are starting to be known. For the most part we are now called “mwanafunzi” or students. It is probably because they recognize my skirt. I wear the same thing every day – mmmm. How I feel about myself in this country changes from day to day. It is always encouraging when a few successful sentences come out of my mouth in kiswahili and when people are accepting and responsive to me as a person and student.

LOOK AT OUR BOAT COMPANY during our first snorkeling excursion.. and look at that water..... :)